Smash Bros Z Abridged
by Avi of the Avalons
Summary: What if the world of Super Smash Bros were integrated into Dragon Ball Z Abridged? Join Pit and his friends as they relive their lives in the Z Universe! Rated T
1. Chapter 1

_**The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.**_

 _ **Super Smash Brothers is owned by Nintendo and it's third-party characters are owned by their respective owners, such as Capcom, SEGA, and Konami.**_

 _ **I do not own any of the jokes in this story. This is just a retelling of TeamFourStar's hilarious series, Dragonball Z Abridged but with characters from Super Smash Bros. I am just a fan that finds entertainment in their hilarity.**_

 _ **Please support the official release.**_

Our story begins in the rural part of the Nintendo Universe; on a farm. The door to the tiny house near the field opened to reveal a fat man with a crooked mustache, wearing a pair of suspiciously purple overalls and a yellow shirt. He scratched his nose, let out a fart and made his way to his field. It was a peaceful morning, one that even had it's own relaxing music added to it. After taking a bite out of a fresh piece of garlic, he made his way to his tool shed, got his tools and got ready to work once again on another boring, average, uneventful day.

 **BOOM!**

A large explosion came from out of nowhere, rattling the farmer. He stared at the cloud of smoke, absolutely horrified. "OH GOD, NO, MY MARIJUANA PAT- I mean, uh... my garlic patch. Yeah." He quickly hopped onto his motorcycle and made his way out to the scene of the explosion. " _I better do what any sensible video game character would do in this situation,_ " he thought to himself. " _GET MY GUN!_ " As he said this, he pulled out a Super Scope.

As he peered into the crater where he assumed the explosion happened, he caught a glimpse of a foreign pod, unlike anything he had seen before. The pod opened up, revealing something that he was not familiar with. A robotic voice came from the pod as the mysterious character stepped out and slowly started to float up.

 **A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!**

Only one thought came to the farmer's mind. "Holy crap, it's Sonic the Hedgehog!" He soon realized that that wasn't the case as he got a better look at the stranger's appearance. "No... wait... it's an alien? HOLY SH*T, IT'S AN ALIEN!"

The stranger in question was dressed in a black tunic and held a silver bow in his hand. Said bow also had sharp edges for when it could be separated and used as dual swords. On his back, black wings sprouted out majestically. His eyes were a deep purple and gave a look that could make anyone cringe. He chuckled a bit before speaking.

"Finally... on this dead plannnn... wait... what the crap?" This mysterious dark angel slowly lowered himself to the ground below. "Argh! Did Perseus screw this up?! Oh, God dammit, I knew we should have sent Robin..."

" _Better think of something cool to say to make him stop,_ " the farmer thought as he and raised his Super Scope towards the angel. "HEY YOU!" he shouted. _"Heheh... genius, Wario. Genius._ "

The dark angel turned towards Wario and smirked. "Aww, look at him, he thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human?" He pressed a button on his scouter and immediately analyzed the strange person. He was identified as Wario, a somewhat popular video game character who is known to love garlic and ride motorcycles. His power level... was barely five. The stranger smirked. "Five, huh?" he chuckled as he slowly made his way towards his target.

"PROTECT ME, GUN!" Wario shouted as he carelessly fired a shot towards his attacker, only to have the latter catch the energy blast. "Hey!" he shouted. "No! Bad human!" he said as he flicked the it back towards Wario at triple strength. Wario was hit and slammed into his motorcycle from the force of the blast.

"Bad." the stranger finished. "Now get back up and tell me you're sorry." Wario didn't get back up. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he was completely unresponsive. The stranger, however, remained completely oblivious to Wario's condition. "Human? Huuuuuuuuman?" After a few failed attempts, the dark angel sighed. "So this is why dad said I couldn't keep Slippy..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in a nearby wasteland, a fairly recognizable blue Pokemon was doing some training. He stopped for a second and admired the view. He sighed. "Good ol' wasteland. Yep. Sure is some kick-ass training." A few seconds passed before he sighed. " _Dammit, I'm lonely. Might as well check PokeSpace._ "

He opened up his laptop and pulled up his PokeSpace page. The text at the top read 'Hello, Lucario,' complete with a less than stellar picture of the Pokemon in all of his 'awesomeness.' He checked all of his notifications. " _No new comments... no friend requests... dammit... well, at least I have you, Red. You're always there for me..._ "

Lucario's PokeSpace session was abruptly cut off by a voice shouting after him. "Hey! You!" Lucario turned around in surprise. " _What the hell?_ " he thought to himself as the voice continued to call out to him.

"Are you Perseus?! Seriously, if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It's really important!"

Seconds later, the same dark angel from before landed in front of the blue Pokemon. He analyzed him with his scouter and instantly figured out that it wasn't who he was searching for. "Oh. Wait a second. You're not Perseus. My bad."

Lucario deadpanned. "I've got blue and white fur, spikes out of my hands and chest, and a tail. Oh, yeah. I must look like so many other people."

The dark angel frowned. "Oh, a smartass, huh? I don't appreciate smartasses." Lightning started to come from his hand and a purple ball formed. "Prepare yourself for my signature attack! DOUBLE SUND-"

 **BZZT!**

 **We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait while we change the attack name to it's proper name.**

…

…

…

 **Thank you for waiting.**

"Prepare yourself for my signature attack! KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BIRDI-"

As soon as he said this, his scouter went off, indicating a much higher power level. "Ooh, a higher power level," he said to himself as he flew up, searching for where the immense power is coming from. Lucario wasn't pleased at the sudden change. "Hey! What the hell?! Weren't you going to kill me?!"

"Ah, there we go," the dark angel said to himself, once again. "Considering the average set by this one blue guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Perseus are- aw, screw this, I'll just go and check." He flew off in a rush, leaving a disappointed Lucario in the dust. "Fine! Go ahead! I didn't want your company anyways!" he said out loud before turning back to his laptop. "Right, Red?"

* * *

An aircraft descended and landed on the small island that housed Smash Manor. An elegant looking woman stepped out of the aircraft and made her way towards the door, casually opening it like she belonged there. "Hey, I'm here!" she called out, to the surprise of the two brothers inside.

"BOOBS! I mean, Zelda!" the shorter, green clothed Italian man called out. "Hi."

Zelda put on a fake smile. "Oooooookaaaaaay... how's it going?" she said as she walked in and set her stuff down. The bigger one with the bushier mustache and red clothing held up a mug. "I'm-a drinking OJ!" The liquid changed with a ding. "Now it's-a apple juice!" Another ding. "And now it's-a beer! Yaaaay, beer!" he cheered as he chugged the beverage down as quickly as he could.

"So, where's Roy?" Luigi asked while balancing a present on his finger. Zelda clenched her fists in tranquil fury. "I think the bastard's cheating on me," she said as calmly as she could. Luigi raised an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

* * *

"Zelda! It's not what it looks lik- okay, it's kinda what it looks like... can I still live here? Please? Before this, I was living out in the desert. Oh, and have you changed Mew's litter box yet?"

"I MADE BOOM BOOM!"

* * *

"Oh, are you serious? Roy? That is SO out of chara- so you're single, then?"

Zelda wanted to acknowledge that but got cut off at the last second by a voice that came from outside. A young man dressed in a white robe with wings sprouting out of his back jumped off of the cloud that he was riding on. He had not yet learned how to fly all that well. In his arms, he was carrying a small boy who was dressed like a prince. He had blonde hair that stuck up in the front and he looked pretty shy. The young man called out to everyone inside. "Hey guys!"

"PIT!" Zelda shouted in excitement.

"WINGS...huh?" Luigi shouted as he followed Zelda, only to stop after seeing Pit carrying the small boy in his arms.

Zelda stood there in a bit of a shock. "Um... Pit? I couldn't help but notice that five year old you're carrying." Luigi butted in with "Pit, just because we picked you up in the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children."

Pit nervously laughed that comment off. "Uh... okay? This is actually my son."

 **Cue Dramatic Music**

 _A/N: What a twist._

Zelda walked over to Pit nervously. "Oh, wow... so I guess that means you've finally... y'know..." she managed to spit out. Pit just gave her a confused look. "Know what?" Mario was the next person to rush up to Pit's side. "Y'know... Bow chika wow wow?!" Another look from Pit. "What're those noises you're making?"

Zelda and Mario shared the same thought. " _Oh my God, he's a parent._ " Luigi walked up too. "So, when's the little guy gonna start training?" he asked. Pit crossed his arms. "Actually, Lady Palutena is making him study. She wants him to grow up to be... what's it called?"

"A responsible and productive member to society?" Luigi guessed.

Pit snapped his fingers. "Yeah, lame! That's it!" He called out to his son. "Hey, son! Come here! Stop playing with that turtle! We don't want people saying things."

Something caught Zelda's eye as Pit's son came running towards them. It was a small ball that was on his head. It was multicolored and held a certain logo on it. She recognized it almost immediately. "Hey, is that a Smash Ball on his head? Doesn't that make him a target for villains who might want them?"

Pit brushed off the suggestion. "Oh, come on, I've already beaten Lucario. I'm strong enough to beat anyone- HOLY NANA AND POPO! WHAT IS THAT?!"

Pit felt an immense amount of aura heading towards his way. Mario stepped forward. "What's wrong?" Pit started to tense up. "I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Luigi's losing streak!"

Zelda held her hands over her mouth in shock while Mario recoiled. Luigi just hung his head. "You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy."

Pit searched furiously, looking for wherever the tremendous power was coming from. "It's getting closer..." Luigi tapped Pit's shoulder. "Shouldn't we grab Lucas and put him insi-" Before Luigi could finish, the dark angel landed in front of everyone. "Oh, son of a-" Luigi grumbled before the 'guest' started talking.

Taking a closer look, everyone was able to tell that both Pit and the stranger shared some similarities: the way they wore their hair, their wings, their robes, everything. Except the color of their clothes and wings were different. Because of their similarities, everyone referred to this stranger as 'Dark Pit.'

Dark Pit smirked at his counterpart. "It took me a while to get here, but I've finally found you... Perseus."

Pit tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

"That's right. That's your name," Dark Pit explained.

"What?" Pit repeated.

"The name you were given before we sent you to this planet," Dark Pit explained even further.

"...what?"

"You... hit your head as a child, didn't you?"

Pit had a brief flashback to when he was a kid, recalling that he fell off of a cliff and hit his head on the ground below. How he survived was a miracle. But as soon as he recalled the memory, it disappeared in an instant, leaving him to say-

"...what?"

"Oh, for God's sakes, just listen!" Dark Pit shouted. "You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You're part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors, called the Smashers. And to top off the exponential onslaught... I... AM YOUR BROTHER!"

Everybody recoiled at Dark Pit's last statement, so much to the point where a crab fell off of one of the trees. Luigi, blissfully unaware of the danger he was putting himself in, walked up to Dark Pit casually. "So, you're his brother, huh? Wow, that must mean you'll get to participate in a lot of future events, right?" It went silent after that. "...right?"

In a fraction of a second, Dark Pit used both of his wings to send Luigi flying into the side of the manor. "...what did I say...?" Luigi questioned as he was buried under the broken fragments of the wall.

 **Luigi Owned Count: 1**

At the sight of this, Pit got angry. He pointed towards Dark Pit and sternly said, "Hey! Stop hitting Luigi!" Dark Pit sarcastically replied with "Why?" to which Pit answered with "Because you're breaking Smash Manor!"

"Yeah... stop breaking Smash Manor..." Luigi protested weakly.

"So, what are you here for?" Pit asked. "The Smash Balls?" Dark Pit looked at Pit like he was insane. "Uh... you'll smash my what?" he questioned, a tiny bit unnerved. "The Smash Balls," Pit clarified. "Y'know, there are seven of them, they can grant you any wish you want, like immortality?"

Pikachu (who came out of seemingly nowhere) butted in, saying "...or Zelda's panties."

 **Meanwhile, on a distant planet:**

Bowser turned his head to his partner. "Marth, did you hear that?"

The blue-haired swordsman prince turned to his gigantic, spiky, turtle partner and smirked. "Oh, yeah! We're totally going to go to the Nintendo Universe to get our wish!

Bowser clutched his fist. "Yeah! We're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right, Marth?"

Marth sighed. "Just get in the damn pod."

 **Back to the Plot:**

Dark Pit shook his head and walked up to his brother. "No... I'm here for you... Perseus..."

Hearing this, Pit dropped his guard a bit. "Oh. Okay. So what are we going to do? See a ball game? Catch a movie? Other brotherly things?"

Dark Pit shook his head. "We are going to kill everyone on this planet and sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet."

"...oh." Pit frowned at his brother. "Well... I sorta like people here. So, with all due respect-"

Without any sort of prompt, Dark Pit rushed forward and kicked Pit in the gut. Having the wind knocked out of him, Pit doubled over in pain, leaving everyone speechless. Lucas wriggled free from Zelda and ran towards his fallen father. "Daddy!"

Before he could even make it to his dad, Dark Pit grabbed him by the back of the shirt collar and hoisted him up. "I'll be taking this." And like that, he sped off into the distance.

Pit, having somewhat regained his composure, slowly rose. "Quick! Someone stop him!" he cried out. However, nobody did anything and it was only after several chirps from a nearby cricket that anyone said anything else.

"Dammit, Luigi!" Pit said to his friend.

"Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What's your excuse?"

"I was kneed in the stomach!"

"You're all pathetic!" came a foreign but somehow familiar voice. When everyone looked up, they saw Lucario hovering above them. Normally, this would have frightened each and every one of them, as he was one of the toughest foes Pit ever faced, but given recent events, he seemed to pose less of a threat.

"...what?" Lucario asked after a lengthy silence.

"Ah geez..." Pit sighed. "Look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all but today's been a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I'm some kind of alien or something, he kidnapped my son..."

"Oh yeah, I was watching that. That was priceless!" Lucario burst into a fit of laughter that unnerved everyone in the vicinity. It wasn't until after a few seconds that he abruptly interrupted himself and declared "Sorry for your loss."

"Right..." Pit said, regaining his normal composure. "Anyways... wanna help me get him back?" he asked as he stuck out his hand towards the blue Pokemon. Lucario folded his arms. "Whyyyy?" Pit thought about it for a bit and told Lucario something that he couldn't possibly resist.

"I'll friend you on PokeSpace."

…

The next thing they knew, they were flying in the direction where Dark Pit had taken off. "Red," Lucario said to himself, "You've been replaced."


	2. Chapter 2

_**The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.**_

 _ **Super Smash Brothers is owned by Nintendo and it's third-party characters are owned by their respective owners, such as Capcom, SEGA, and Konami.**_

 _ **I do not own any of the jokes in this story. This is just a retelling of TeamFourStar's hilarious series, Dragonball Z Abridged but with characters from Super Smash Bros. I am just a fan that finds entertainment in their hilarity.**_

 _ **Please support the official release.**_

As they pressed on in pursuit of Lucas' kidnapper, Pit turned to Lucario with a curious look for his former rival. "Hey, Lucario... mind if I ask you something?" Lucario turned to him. "What is it?"

"Well... you're not from Earth either, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And you were born from an egg, right?"

Lucario gave Pit a funny look. "What about it?"

Pit couldn't hold it in anymore; he needed to ask him. "Are... are you a Yoshi?"

Several seconds of silence followed that question before Lucario let out an irritated sigh. "Yes, Pit. I'm a green f*cking dinosaur!"

Another moment of silence.

"...can... can I ride you?"

All Lucario could do was just let out a groan.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dark Pit had made his way back to his space pod with Lucas in hand. Lucas, having no idea what was happening and why this strange man had attacked his father and kidnapped him, was bawling his eyes out to no end. Dark Pit sighed and set him on the ground in front of him.

He kneeled down to Lucas and told him very calmly...

"Shut up."

Lucas paused for a moment out of slight confusion, but was soon back to crying.

"I said shut up!" Dark Pit repeated, slightly agitated.

No effect.

"SHUT UP!" Dark Pit screamed at the child, to no avail.

He let out a grunt. "Dammit! Why isn't screaming at you angrily making you cry less?!" With that, he picked Lucas up by the collar of his shirt and carried him over to his pod. "That's it. I'm putting you in the time-out pod." With a press of the button, the door to his pod opened up, allowing him to throw Lucas inside and slam the door shut.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank sweet, merciful God that's over. Now I can just sit back and-"

Before he could say anything else, his scouter went off; it had registered two moderate power levels coming towards him.

"...beat the crap out of whoever is coming this way." He once again let out a sigh. "Great..."

Looking off into the distance, Dark Pit could see two figures flying towards his direction; one of which he identified as his brother. The other figure he deduced was the Pokemon he saw earlier.

"Pittoo!" Pit shouted. "Give me back my son!"

It was at this time that Pit's power of flight had run out, causing him to lose altitude. "Wheeeeee!"

Dark Pit deadpanned. "...what did he just call me?"

Pit and Lucario descended and met face-to-face with their adversary. Dark Pit smirked. "So... you're here already... and I see you've brought the Pokemon as well."

"Actually," Pit interrupted, "that hasn't been explained yet."

"Oh..." Dark Pit shrugged. "Well, it's not like anybody cares about him anyways."

Lucario scowled. "Well screw you too!"

Dark Pit simply frowned, before launching himself forward and attacking the two with full strength. Pit and Lucario were barely able to escape without being KO'ed. Lucario groaned. "Okay... what the hell was that?" "I dunno," Pit said, regaining his breath. "But let's try it again... from BEHIND!"

With this, both of the fighters rushed forward in an attempt to take Dark Pit down, but were knocked down without a second thought. As they were flying through the air, Lucario said to Pit "We REALLY shouldn't be announcing our attack strategy-"

"Rush him!" Pit said, charging forward as soon as he landed.

"DAMMIT, PIT!" Lucario shouted as he followed after him.

Dark Pit rose into the air and charged an attack in both hands. Seeing this, Lucario angrily told Pit "Can we at least TRY to dodge this one?!"

Pit looked over at his friend. "Dodge what on-"

At that moment, Dark Pit launched an attack down towards the two.

"OH GEEZ!" Pit said to himself as he narrowly dodged the blast. He thought he could hear Lucario letting out a pained grunt on the other side.

The moment Pit landed he looked back up at his brother and shouted "Ha! You missed me!"

Dark Pit suddenly appeared behind him. "My bad," he said as he knocked Pit all the way over to the other side of the battlefield.

Pit slowly got back up. " _Note to self... less talky, more fighty..._ " He looked over to see his downed friend getting back up again. "Hey, Lucario... we may be taking a beating... but at least we managed to dodge that one." He got back up and started walking towards his friend, holding his hand in the air. "High fiiiii-yeeesh!"

Once Lucario stood up, it became very clear that he had, in fact, lost his arm thanks to Dark Pit's powerful blast. Pit tried his best to think of something else to say. "Uh... hand sha-... thumbs u-... g-good job!"

Off in the distance, they could hear Dark Pit laughing maniacally. "Oh, excuse me," he taunted, "have you seen my arm? You can't miss it; it's blue! Ahahahahaha!"

Lucario just sneered at him. "Yeah... anyways, listen, I got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm."

Pit looked over at him. "What's the downside?"

"You'll have to distract him while I charge it."

Pit smirked a bit. "Huh. Well, that's not too bad-"

"For five minutes," Lucario finished. "And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one, it-... ah, whatever, I'm sure you can handle it."

Pit smiled at him. "Wow... you really have that much faith in me?"

Lucario paused for a second. "...yeah, sure. Why not?"

Pit readied himself up after hearing that. "Well, then, I won't disappoint you. Here goes nothing!" With that, he pulsed forward towards his eagerly-waiting brother. "Ready or not," Pit said. "Here I co-"

Not more than half a second later, Dark Pit began pulverizing his brother with punch after punch, kick after kick, headbutt after butthead, leaving Pit helpless to his brother's onslaught. Meanwhile, Lucario stood over to the side, charging his attack.

" _Doo dooooo, doodoodoo... mahna mahna. Doo doodoo doo... mahna mahna. Doo dooooo doodoodoo, doodoodoo, doodoodoo, doodoodoo, Imma charging my attack._ "

"Hah!" Pit exclaimed. "I got your wings!"

With his wings restrained, Dark Pit was at the mercy of Pit. He turned around and began to plead with his brother. "Please, let me go...?"

Pit thought about it. "Well... since you asked nicely..." The second Pit let go of his brother's wings, Dark Pit immediately got back up and resumed his onslaught of attacks.

Lucario began to think to himself too. " _Hmm... perhaps on second thought, a five minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle..._ "

"Hah! Got your wings!" Pit exclaimed. "Again!"

Dark Pit was once again at his brother's mercy. "Please let go?"

Pit shook his head. "I am NOT falling for that this time!"

Dark Pit gave his brother another pleading look. "Pretty please let me go?"

Pit slowly started to let go of his brother's wings. "Weeeell...-"

Once again, Dark Pit tricked him again, knocking his brother onto his back. "Gah! Spine!" Pit shouted, just before Dark Pit stomped on him. Once he did, Pit shouted out "GAH! Ribs! Definitely ribs!"

Dark Pit smirked at his fallen brother. "Aha. Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle... a cunning strategy." He frowned. "No, not that... what's the opposite of that?"

"Idiotic?" Lucario suggested from afar.

"That's it! Thank you!" Dark Pit once again glanced down at his brother. "Now, disregarding the Pokemon, I-"

"Ah ah. A Yoshi."

"I'M NOT A GOD DAMN YOSHI!"

"But you said you were!"

"It's called sarcasm!"

"What's that taste like?"

"DAMMIT, PIT!"

Fed up with being interrupted and ignored, Dark Pit cracked a few more of Pit's ribs. "STOP IGNORING ME!"

Pit let out a yelp of pain. "GAH MY RIBS! I THINK YOU BROKE MY... mmm... ribs..."

Dark Pit continued to stomp on him, drawing out more pained yelps from his younger brother. "Stop! Ignoring! Me! AND! DIE!"

At that exact moment, Dark Pit's scouter went off once more, this time detecting an enormous power spike in the direction of... his space pod? He looked over to it and saw that it was slowly starting to break apart. " _Wait... didn't I put the kid in there?_ " he thought to himself. " _...oh no..._ "

"STOP BEATING UP MY DADDYYYYYY!"

In a fit of anger, Lucas burst out from Dark Pit's space pod and began charging towards him with incredible strength. Dark Pit looked on in awe. "NO! MY SPACE PO-"

Lucas rammed his head right into Dark Pit's chest, hurting his uncle so badly that he had to stagger back after being dealt a blow like that. "Agh! My... space... toga..."

Off to the side, Lucario shouted out "We get it; you're from space!"

Pit stared at his son in awe. "L... Lucas?" Lucas looked towards his father. "What... was that?" Lucas brightened up and ran over towards his father. "Daddy!"

"No, seriously, what WAS that?" Pit asked as he propped himself up. "We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do-" It was at this point that Pit saw his brother appear right behind Lucas. "Oh crap..."

Lucas looked behind him and saw his uncle, extremely pissed. All of his bravado flew out of the window and he went back to cowering. Dark Pit lifted up his hand in anger.

"Uncle Dark Pit IS PISSED!"

 **(Okay, I think it's time we just changed his name to Pittoo, because it just sounds weird now)**

"Uncle Pittoo IS PISSED!"

 _We here at TeamFourStar, Nintendo, and FanFiction do not condone child violence._

 _We do, however, find it hilarious._

With just a single blow, Pittoo knocked Lucas out cold. As soon as he did this, he began walking towards his nephew with a malicious look on his face.

"Wait!" Pit pleaded. "Hold on!"

"Or what?" Pittoo scoffed. "Mr. Shattered Ribs is going to stop me?"

"You don't understand!" Pit pleaded, trying to reason with him. "Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Lady Palutena will do to me if she found out he died!"

Scoffing once again and raising his hand up in the air to charge a blast, he merely said "Well, sucks to be you."

Finding the strength to push himself off of the ground, Pit rose once again. "I don't have any choice... I have to use my last technique..."

"Now, DIE!" Pittoo shouted as he brought his hand down to blast Lucas into oblivion. However, he never got the chance to as he was interrupted by his brother once again, except this time, his brother's strategy was by using a technique known as a...

"FULL NELSON!" Pit shouted.

"...a full nelson?" Pittoo scoffed once again. "That won't work on me. I'm Pittoo."

However, Pittoo's overconfidence soon dissipated as the full nelson technique actually proved to be quite useful and very effective. Needless to say, he was not happy about it. "Okay, let go!" he demanded as he kept trying to wriggle himself free but to no avail. "Okay seriously, this is starting to PISS ME OFF!"

"Lucario!" Pit shouted to his friend whom had remained quiet for a while.

"Ready!" he shouted back, with his attack fully prepared and ready to fire.

"Good!" Pit replied. "Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!"

Lucario chuckled evily to himself. "Oh, sure... I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you ever get! Hahaha! Ahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Pit completely ignored Lucario's borderline insane laughs. "Well, okay. So long as we're clear on that!"

Lucario raised his arm up in the air. "MAKANSA-... MAKAKASAPPA... MEKASAPA- oh the hell with it. Watch the power of the AURA!" he shouted as he fired a powerful blast from his hand that made it's way towards the two brothers.

"Is that what you're gonna yell out when you-" Pit asked before the beam pierced both him and his brother. "OH GOD!"

The blast was so powerful in fact, that once he pierced the two, it curved off into the distance, completely obliterating one of the mountains there as well as the mountain climbers that were on it.

Both Pit and Pittoo fell to the ground. The older of the two let out a grunt. "Dammit... and there was no way I could have gotten out of there..."

Lucario slowly walked up to Pittoo and stood over him. "You know you could have flown away, right?"

Pittoo thought about that for a second, and then, finally realizing the missed opportunity, uttered his final words. "Damn... you... hindsight... ugh..." Finally, Pittoo closed his eyes and never woke back up. The battle had ended, but at the cost of a major casualty. Lucario pondered this as a ship came flying towards his way.

"Pit!" a familiar voice came over a radio; it was easy to tell it was Luigi. "After several hours of debating, we've decided you might need our-" Luigi stopped mid-sentence as soon as he saw both Pittoo lying on the ground, devoid of all life, as well as Pit, whose life force was fading fast. Only one phrase came to mind. "Oh crap."

As soon as they landed, Mario, Luigi and Zelda rushed over to their fallen friend. "Pit, you can't die!" Luigi reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a tomato, but with a large M on the front. "Here! I brought you a Maxim Tomato!"

Pit chuckled a bit to himself. "I... don't think... that's gonna work..."

"Why not?" Luigi asked.

"I... sorta have a hole in my esophagus..."

"Wait," Luigi questioned. "Then how are you breathing?"

As soon as he said that, Pit began to slowly close his eyes until he went completely limp in Luigi's hands. "Pit?" Luigi asked quietly. "Pit?!" he asked one more time, before the reality of the situation really sunk in.

"Oh my God... I'm not the first person to die in this series!"

"Luigi!" Mario interrupted.

"What?"

"Too-a soon!"

Zelda, whom had been trying her best to hold in her tears, spoke up. "I... I can't believe he's gone..." she said.

Lucario nodded. "Yeah, pity that." Without prompting, Lucario stuck out the part of his body where his arm used to be and-

"HRAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

-grew his arm back again, much to the other's surprise. Luigi was the first to speak up on it. "Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?!"

Lucario nodded, breaking in his new arm. "Yeah... you wanna know what else?"

"Wh... what?" Luigi asked nervously.

"I'mTakingLucasBye!"

Without a second though, he grabbed Lucas and sped off into the distance.

"Quick!" Luigi shouted. "Somebody stop him!"

However, nobody did anything. And it was only after several chirps from a nearby cricket that anyone said anything else.

"Dammit, Mario!" Luigi shouted.

"Shut up, Luigi," Mario retorted.

 **Luigi Owned Count: 2**

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, then leave a review below and favorite the story. And if you want to keep up to date on when the next chapter will be out, go ahead and hit that Follow button too. Until then, I'll see you all in the next chapter!**

 _List of Characters (in order):_

Pit as Goku

Lucario as Piccolo

Lucas as Gohan

Dark Pit/Pittoo as Raditz

Luigi as Krillin

Mario as Master Roshi

Zelda as Bulma

* * *

 **Deleted scene:**

"Lucario? You use weighted-training clothes as well?"

Lucario shot a side-glance at his rival, as he removed his conveniently-placed training gear. "No, Pit. I just love to get naked when I'm around you."

Dark Pit's scouter let out a beep, indicating a rise in power level. Since Lucario and Pit had removed some of their clothing, it only made sense that...

"Ah, I see... so, nudity makes you stronger on this planet!" At this, Dark Pit began to unzip his-

 **(Oh God, why I am writing this?!)**

Pit gave his brother a weird look. "Uh... no? We're wearing weighted clothing."

As soon as he heard this, Dark Pit immediately zipped back up before assuming a confident stance, depite being completely embarrassed. "O-Oh, of course! B-Because that would be ridiculous, ahahahaha!"

Several moments of silence followed after that.

Lucario was the first to speak up. "So... all that black you're wearing DOES compensate for something."

 **Mario: HAHA! Dangly parts.**

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

...

...

...

...

Mario let out a sigh. "Well... Pit has-a passed. But his-a sacrafice has-a stopped a great-a evil. Thanks-a to him, our-a lives can-a return to peace once-a mor-"

"Pittoo?" came a voice over the dead Smasher's scouter. "Pittooooooo?"

Mario, Luigi, and Zelda walked towards the sound of the voice. "What-a the hell is-a that?"

"'Guy-whose-as-strong-as-Olimar-says-what?' ...that ususally gets to him! I think he's dead, Marth."

"Big shocker!" came another unrecognizable voice. "Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyways! We'll just go to Earth, find the Smash Balls and KILL EVERYONE! ...and we'll be there in about a year or so. Depending on filler, of course."

"Anything else we need to go over, Marth?"

"Mmmmnope, that's about it."

A long moment of silence followed after that. Mario sighed once again. "Well... fuc-"


	3. Chapter 3

_**The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.**_

 _ **Super Smash Brothers is owned by Nintendo and it's third-party characters are owned by their respective owners, such as Capcom, SEGA, and Konami.**_

 _ **I do not own any of the jokes in this story. This is just a retelling of TeamFourStar's hilarious series, Dragonball Z Abridged but with characters from Super Smash Bros. I am just a fan that finds entertainment in their hilarity.**_

 _ **Please support the official release.**_

As soon as his feet touched the ground, Lucario reeled back his arm and threw Lucas into the small pond in front of him, waking the child up nearly instantly. Lucas didn't seem to recognize where he was at; all he knew was that this blue creature, whom his father seemed to have had an altercation with in the past, was the only person near him within miles and that his dad was nowhere to be found.

"Alright you little... thing..." Lucario spoke up. "I saw what you did to that guy back there. That kind of power could be useful."

Lucas could instantly sense that something was wrong. "Wh... what do you mean?" he meekly asked.

Lucario closed his eyes and turned his head off to the side. "It means... I'm going to make you my pupil. And then..." Lucario re-opened his eyes and pierced into the child's soul. "I'll use YOU for my conquest to take over the world!"

Lucas could feel himself trembling in fear. "B-But... where's my daddy?" he asked, looking around for any sign of his father or anything that could get him farther away from this evil creature. Lucario narrowed his eyes. "Hate to tell you kid... but your dad's dead!"

A moment of silence followed.

"Actually, I kinda like saying that. HAHA, your dad's dea-"

With that, Lucas burst into tears the likes of which no mortal child could ever hope to achieve. They gushed from his eyes like water from a fossit. Lucario couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad for what he said. He sighed. "Dammit. This is why I hang out in tall patches of grass..."

* * *

"Hello and welcome to the Dreamland Check-in Station" came a voice over the intercom. "Please no cutting in line. If you are caught cutting in line, you will be sent straight to SEGA."

As soon as he was called in, Pit walked into the room only to see the guardian of Earth standing in the middle of the room; a tall, slender person who had been watching over the planet of Earth for as long as anyone can remember. Yes, indeed, this person was Gardevoir. The door opened to the side of the room, allowing a much larger person to enter; King Dedede, also known as the King of Otherworld. As soon as they entered, Dedede sat down and pulled out his notebook and pen, Gardevoir explained all about the plan to go to Kirby's Star so that Pit would be able to gain the strength to defeat this new threat.

"And in conclusion," Gardevoir wrapped up, "That is why we need Pit here to go to Kirby's for his masterful training, King Dedede."

Dedede tapped the end of his pencil on the desk. "Give me one good reason why I should allow this."

Gardevoir narrowed her eyes. "Because if you don't... that line out there is going to increase by six billion!"

"Six billion?" Dedede repeated. "I'm supposed to be intimidated by six billion?!" He snorted. "Please, I can judge six billion souls faster than you can eat a poffin,you third-gen clickbait!"

"You know, I am the guardian of Earth," Gardevoir argued. "Can't I get a little bit of respect around here?" King Dedede just reeled his head back in laughter. "Big deal! I'm the closest thing to a Top Tier character in this show! ...until you get to the characters like Kirby. Then I'll just be hoooorribly insignificant... I do have a desk though! It's made of mahogany!"

Gardevoir nodded. "Yes, that's very nice, but-"

"And not just ANY mahogany!" Dedede continued. "But mahogany from Planet Zebes! Where the trees are three hundred feet tall and breathe FIRE!" Pit's eyes widened at 'fire.' "From these trees," Dedede continued without missing a beat, "my desk was forged, ten thousand years ago, using the ancient-blood rituals of the Chozo people! Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can BEND THE VERY FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"

Silence.

"Also," he added "it's a very fine material. Veeeery expensive."

Gardevoir raised an eyebrow. "Oooookay?"

"Mahogany," Dedede added quickly.

Silence.

"Mahogany."

"Um, yeah... anyway, can we please-" Gardevoir started to say but was cut off by a-

 **SILEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!**

 _(Yeah that...)_

Silence.

More silence.

Even more silence.

"Mahogany," Dedede whispered softly.

"Um... sir?" Gardevoir asked, bringing the Dreamland King back from his mahogany-induced dream world of his own. "Huh-what? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever, he can go to Kirby's. But he'll have to run on..." Dedede paused for a moment, drawing Pit and Gardevoir even closer into him, until finally...

"SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE WAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" he shouted menacingly, causing an echo that even the people outside could hear.

"Sounds fun!" Pit said after a long pause. Gardevoir facepalmed.

Dedede just chuckled. "Prepare to be surprised."

Pit nodded. "Alright! I'm off!" he stated, before running towards the doorway. However, just before he set foot out of the door, he remembered something important that he probably should have asked Dedede about earlier. "Oh, by the way... did you see a guy named 'Pittoo' come through here? Black hair and clothes? Wings? Looks exactly like me?"

Dedede flipped through the pages in his book. "Oh yeah, I remember that guy. I put him in my patented 'Dedede-Lock!'" he boasted.

Pit raised an eyebrow. "And it worked?"

"F*ck no! He kicked me in my waddle-dees and ran away! Now I don't know where he is!"

* * *

Pittoo smirked. "He didn't keep his eye on the birdie."

* * *

"Huh," Pit said after an awkward silence. "Okay... well bye!" he shouted as he took off.

"See ya next time you die!" Dedede called out as he was exiting. It wasn't long before he realized that it was just him and an oddly quiet Gardevoir in the room. A long silence ensued afterwards.

…

…

…

…

…

"Mahogany..."

* * *

"So, Luigi" Mario asked his brother "How did Palutena take-a the news?" Luigi quivered a bit. "Uh... well, you see..."

"Just spit it out," Zelda told him. "It couldn't be that bad right?"

"Um..." Luigi said shakily. "Well..."

 **{Flashback}**

"Well, Luigi?" Palutena asked as she set down a dinner plate in front of him. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Luigi started to shake nervously, knowing how she gets whenever she hears something she doesn't want to hear. He looked over to her father, King Hippo, who was sitting right next to him for some sign that he would at least have some back up if she went crazy, but he was too busy stuffing his face with food. "So... Palutena..." Luigi started. "Hypothetically... what would you do... if you found out that your husband was dead... and your son was kidnapped by his worst enemy...?"

The odd nature of the question was enough to get Palutena's father to stop eating and focus on him. Although, without missing a beat, Palutena answered with "I would castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty kitchen knife."

A pause.

"Oh. Well, it's a good thing I'm not telling you that!" Luigi stated before breaking out into nervous laughter. Pretty soon, everyone else burst into laughter too, until everything ceased with a follow-up question from Palutena. "Would you like to spend the night?" Luigi, not wanting to be rude, agreed. "Against my better judgement," he whispered under his breath.

Nightfall came rather quickly and all was quiet in the house, save for the snores of King Hippo. Luigi quietly gathered his things and tip-toed towards the door of the house. That is, until he heard the sharpening of a knife. "Luiiiiiiiiiiigiiiiiii..." Palutena called out, in a singsongy voice. "Where aaaaaaare yooooooou?"

Luigi wasted no time in running out of the door hopping into his car and speeding off into the distance. The only thing you could hear from him at that point was the sound of his engine and his cries of fear.

 **{Flashback End}**

"Luigi?" Mario called out, snapping his brother out of his thoughts. Luigi shook his head clear, before spouting out "Relatively well."

Zelda walked over towards the two. "So, are you going to gather the other Smash Fighters and go train at Gardevoir's?"

Luigi raised an eyebrow. "The who fighters?"

"The Smash Fighters!" Zelda repeated as she put Pittoo's scouter (that they had successfully salvaged) on her head. "Y'know, you, Pit, Mac, Roy, Ness... that's what we always call you guys."

Luigi gave her a funny look. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever-"

 **LUIGIIIIIIIIIIII!**

Mario, Luigi and Zelda could hear Palutena even from miles away. As it turned out, she was speeding right towards them, in search of... well, take a guess.

 _ **WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!**_

Pause.

"Welp, I'm off to gather the Smash Fighters, bye!" Luigi rushed as he sped off into the distance once again.

* * *

"Listen up, runt!" Lucario shouted to get his young disciple's attention. "Today we're going to commence your intense training under me."

"But wait," Lucas interrupted. "Wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age, crippling me for years to come?" Not even Lucario could process whatever he said. "You're a wordy little bastard aren't you?"

Lucas nodded. "My mom wants me to become an-

" **NERD!"**

Lucas froze for a second before timidly asking "...w-what?"

"Anyways, I figured to unleash your hidden potential, I would have to put you in immense physical danger," Lucario explained before pointing behind him to a weird glowing structure in the distance. "So Imma side-smash you into that Danger Zone." Lucas took a look past Lucario to see what he was referring to. "Actually that looks more like it's made of lav-"

LUCARIO USED SIDE SMASH

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

Lucas' Percentage: 0% → 100%

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Any second now..." Lucario said to himself as Lucas flew closer and closer to the danger zone, still not showing any sign of unleashing his power. "Here it comes..." he kept saying himself, until finally...

 **SPLAT!**

The only sound that could be heard after that was Lucas' pained crying. Lucario let out a long sigh. "This is going to be a looooooooooong training session..."

* * *

"Alright, here you are at snake way!" said the Waddle Dee as he escorted Pit to his destination. "Now, you might wanna pack a lunch cause it's gonna be a long run." At the mention of food, Pit's eyes brightened up, until the Waddle Dee followed up with "Nah, I'm just jokin' you won't be eatin' none."

Pit then turned his attention to the road in front of him. The... insanely long... more than likely dangerous... road... "Wow... this is gonna take a while." Waddle Dee walked up beside him. "Now be careful running; you don't wanna fall off and die."

Pit blinked. "Huh?"

The Waddle Dee giggled. "That's just a little bit of 'dead humor'. But seriously, do not fall off, or you'll go straight to Hell."

"I thought it was called SEGA."

"That too."

Pit scratched his chin in thought. "Has anyone run the whole thing before?"

"Well, there WAS one man..."

Pit tilted his head. "Who was he?"

"I believe his name is-"

* * *

"Jigglypuff!"

The balloon pokemon turned to her friend. "Yes, Gardevoir?"

"I've just received word that a new batch of trainees are coming," the guardian of Earth explained. "I want you to make sure you take good care of them." Jigglypuff's eyes widened from the thought of having new people to train... but for a different reason. Soon, a devious smile crossed the Pokemon's face."

"...ahahahaha... Aaaaaaaaahahaha! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

 **Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter was so late. If you enjoyed, then leave a review below and favorite the story. And if you want to keep up to date on when the next chapter will be out, go ahead and hit that Follow button too. Until then, I'll see you all in the next chapter!**


End file.
